How To Deal With Friendships and Fall Outs in Your Twenties

I wanted to take the time in this blog post to tell you a story about something that has happened to me recently. Hear me out, I'm sure that some of you may have gone through the same thing and I wanted to just give my advice on how I have tried to handle the situation. 

Being at university, I didn't expect me falling out with friends to be such a huge deal as we are all technically adults. I had a friend that I have been close to for about 2 years now, and it's only recently that I have seen a change which I did not like. Fair enough, she did not like our housemates, but there was no valid reason; "they're obviously jealous of me", "were just different people", I just didn't really understand her point of view, however, with her being one of my closest friends, I just smiled and nodded and agreed as I didn't want an argument. 

But it got to the point where she was saying so many mean things about the people that were supposed to be my friends that I had to step up and say something, and instead of a civilised conversation or an apology all I got was abuse. I don't know how many things I have been called now, but it got so bad to the point that I had to block her on everything; would you expect that from one of your closest friends? 

I decided that I was going to keep it between us two, and our housemates that she had been talking about decided that they did not want anything to do with her either. Now don't get it twisted, I did not mention anything to them that was "new news", as everything she had said about them they had heard come straight from her mouth when she was having conversations with other people; yet as I had blocked her, the only other way she was able to get to me was to turn every single person against me. I have had people that I never would have imagined come and speak to me about the situation, had people scream at me and had every single one of my friends from my university course turn round to me and call me a "bully" for turning everyone in our house against her. All I get is excuses for her; "I know she said horrible things but you could've just gotten over it by now and stopped being pathetic" - what kind of friend would say anything like that to someone that is upset? 

For me, I find it quite easy to cut people off if they do me wrong, hell, I fell out with my best friend of 12 years and never spoke to her again because of the things she was saying, and they were nowhere near as bad as what my university "friend" has said. We've had broken things in the house, cracked walls from doors being slammed, threats, yet because I haven't just got over it I am the one in the wrong, and I have apparently isolated her in the house yet every person we live with have made that decision on their own. 

I've been through this situation before in school and it was the worst time of my life, so to go through it again I did not handle it well. I'm going to be completely honest and say I have had breakdowns, panic attacks, anything you can imagine; but I'm at that point now where I truly believe that these people were obviously not my friends. If you are going through this situation I beg you that you don't let it get to you. If your friends turn on you, don't grovel and don't give up; always stand your ground, because in the long run they will understand and you will just have to turn your back, because they didn't have yours when you needed them, so they can't expect you to have theirs. It will be difficult and it will weigh heavy on you, but just surround yourself with good people! I know it sounds cliche and definitely something your mum would say but trust me it definitely works, and will make you feel so much better knowing that you really do have good friends that have your back and not just fake ones. 

Hopefully this has been insightful for you and you feel better knowing that you are not alone if you are going through the same situation. I want to do more things like this that are insightful for you guys, so look out for more in the future! I'm definitely getting back in to my blog for the summer season, so I'll try and upload as much as possible, hopefully every other day if not daily! 

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