Kira's Diary - Untalented or Unmotivated?

As you may (or may not) know, it was only a couple of days ago that the Olympics started and, like every year, I am completely hooked. I love watching most sports, not just Great Britain but all countries, as I just find it all so interesting how talented everyone truly is. But I can't help but have that voice in the back of my head telling me that I am pretty worthless when it comes to talents, hobbies and skills as, to be honest, I can't really do anything incredible.

I used to love creative arts, whether drawing, writing, acting; I just found enjoyment in it, which is all you really need in a hobby. When I was younger, I didn't really care whether or not I was good, just that I enjoyed taking part and creating something that I could be proud of! But I lost the motivation just as I joined sixth form, when I started to care more about building social skills and friendships than anything else.

One thing I used to love doing in my spare time was drawing portraits, especially celebrities and media stars that I was interested in at the time (this was back in 2011/12 so I was about 14, I'll insert a photo of my art work hahaha), but obviously as I got older I grew out of it, which you do when you're young and you enjoy things, as your tastes change and so do your interest, which is totally normal! But when you look at these athletes who have trained their whole lives, and put in everything to get to where they are now, I constantly look back at the hobbies I used to enjoy and think was it that my interests changed or was it that, over the years, my motivation has got less and less?

It is clear that, in terms of motivation, I have definitely become less and less motivated over the years, which has shown in my studies (although I still put in an awful amount of work, but when I look back at how much I stressed over my A-Levels compared to university
there is no comparison). And it hasn't just been school and studies that it was apparent; from the ages of 10 to 14, I attended a dance academy after school, which was my most favourite thing in the world at the time. I put so much effort in to my dance that I managed to skip first grade, and get my bronze level all in the first year, attaining all bronze, silver and gold levels in the time I was at the academy before it closed down. I think that, if it didn't close down, I would have carried on longer than I did, but when my mum tried to look for other academies to send me to, I just became unmotivated trying to look, so never danced again, which is a shame as that is probably the biggest achievement I have (along with my poems and short stories being published in 2 books and a magazine that encouraged young children to read and write when I was younger).
But naming all of these achievements I had years ago, I feel like I am doing nothing with my life at the moment as I have no major achievements (other than my blog, really) and I take no part in any "extra-curricular activities". But is this because I'm not talented or have the skills? My mum constantly says to me, "why don't you join a club or a sports team while you are at university?", but I always just brush it off saying, "I'm not good at anything". I feel, looking back, saying that you're not good at anything is such a cop out, as everyone starts off being unknowledgeable before working their way up in to becoming skilful and even a professional in a certain event or activity, like the Olympics! Do you think Tom Daley or Giarnni Regini-Morgan started doing what they do best knowing exactly what they had to do, starting at a competitive level?
It makes me feel bad that I am so unmotivated in absolutely everything, and last year was probably when I was at my worst. I was unmotivated in life, basically; I didn't do anything, I didn't leave the house, take care in my appearance, I started to abandon this blog, everything. I did have a job, in fairness, that I put an extreme amount of effort in to, but I think that is because I've always been brought up to be work-motivated, so I immediately spent a lot of time making sure I was performing to my best ability in that, although even with that I was unmotivated at the beginning as I did not know what I was doing and became frustrated that I was so unknowledgeable (honestly I am the most impatient person ever). But I pushed through it and made sure that I put in a lot effort to get to know my job and role and when it came to leaving my job to attend university I was told that I will be missed as I did put in a lot of hard work in to the job, and even now I have members of the team telling me it's so different not having my help!

The moral of this post is that it is okay to have changes of heart and leave hobbies and interests behind, but do not give up when you become unmotivated! It's easy to fall in that pit, and I have done myself, but you feel so much better once you've pushed through it and gained that achievement. Watching these athletes at the Olympics you cannot believe how much pride and joy they must be feeling knowing the amount of torment and stress they may have had to go through to get to where they are. I think with a lot of people it can be natural born talent that gets people far, but anyone can be whoever they want to be and do whatever they want with a little perseverance!

If you guys are interested in this topic, feel free to tweet me @iridescencefash, I was thinking of starting some 'Blogger Chat' that I've seen a couple of other blogs do that I thought would be fun and let me talk to some of you guys and get your opinions on certain topics and my blog!
Remember that I also have a YouTube channel, a new video will be out soon so keep an eye out; in the mean time you can check out my social media!